Let it Snow, Let it No....no.

Last week our little burrough of Seattle received about 7 inches of snow over 2 days. 

The story should end right there except this city goes completely sideways over a slight dusting of snow, much less measurable accumulation. The LA Times even called us Snow Wimps. I'll let that rivalry take care of itself- onto my personal tales of the apeshit craziness that happened within the walls of my own house.

There was ample time to prepare for the snow apocalypse as every local (and most national) TV stations were covering the impending weather, ad nauseam. The night before, Sarah and I went to the grocery store along with every other person in our greater metropolitan area. I think we all arrived at the exact same time. 


While shopping, Sarah came up with a few projects to pass the time with Miller and Quinn- making hot cocoa, baking oatmeal cookies and even using marshmallows and toothpicks to make mini igloos. Awesome and thoughtful ideas. Ideas that also contain sugar. Heaping boatloads of SUGAR. Neither one of us thought much of it at the time.


We woke up to several inches of snow already covering the neighborhood. It was beautiful. Then we realized a few things.

The snowfall meant we had no childcare to watch the Beasties. This also meant my lovely wife and I were stuck at home. With the Beasties. Like a family. For what would be 4 days. I'm convinced that modern families are not designed to be around each other that much. Isn't that why we invented the 50+ hour work week? And fantasy baseball?

I also think most of the life distractions recently invented to keep families from talking to each other in their own homes have a maximum 2 hour shelf life. For example, HBO Original programming, XBox, bathroom doors with locks, etc etc.

These distractions got us to 10:30- maybe. 

The snow falling from our living room window was starting to get deep and we could see sledders outside. This duped us into thinking it would be fun to join. Miller had also figured out that the marshmallow project was edible so it was time to get outside and expend some energy.


45 minutes later, we were all (mostly) at the front door, bundled up in layer after layer of snow clothes. Quinn had rain boots on that were two sizes too big and she stumbled around like Neil Armstrong on his maiden voyage to the moon. Miller was throwing a hissy fit about which mittens he could wear. He also repeatedly knocked Quinn down as he ran back and forth from the front door to his room. I had been sweating my ass off as I was ready 38 minutes ago.

Out the door we went.

By the time we got to the street the snow had picked up and was also really wet. We were soaked. Not letting this hinder our adventure we forged ahead, inch by inch. I was leading the group mostly because Sasha the dog was invited (not by me) and I was holding the other end of her leash as she bounded towards sledders at the end of our block. 

Miller made a break for it to catch up with Sasha and me. It began so cutely. Like any curious 3 year old he was sticking his tongue out to catch the snowflakes as he ran toward us. He also did this with his eyes closed. About 8 steps in, the little sugar fueled vehicle that was my son began to veer sharply to the right.


Bam! He tripped on the hedge of grass (covered at this point in snow and invisible to his blind eyes) and landed face first. To his credit he was going at such a good clip his landing knocked his gloves completely off.


Immediate crying and whining ensued. Cold Hands Daddy, COLD HANDS DADDYYYY!!!'


It had been a memorable 4 minutes or so outside but it was time to turn around and go home.


On the way up the 37 stairs to the house, I began plotting how to add schnapps into my hot chocolate without coming across as a derelict.

We were after all, only half way thru day 1 of 4......